Posted 1/15/14 by Brinton Parker in Entertainment
 
 

Facebook Trends That Need to Stop

Okay, we’ll go ahead and say it: sometimes, it’s really hard not to hate your Facebook friends. Unwarranted opinions on your daily activities, hourly selfies, and the like can really grate on one’s nerves. To help salvage the relationships of high school acquaintances and second cousins everywhere, we’ve compiled a list of trends on Facebook that  just need to stop. Now.

Bit Strips

Where did these annoying little comic strips even come from? The idea is fine (we guess) but the execution is simply atrocious. People use these thinner, better-looking, cartoon versions of themselves to give mundane updates about their day, or to laugh about inside jokes with one or two friends. If Bit Strips are your thing, that’s cool- just send them in a text, don’t post them for all of your FB friends to see (and subsequently shake their heads at).

Passive Agressive, Overly Vague Status Updates

Just come right out and say what’s bothering you, or don’t say it at all. Country song lyrics pointed at your ex, nonspecific wishes for change, and passive aggressive rants about “some people” are not ways to handle your problems like an adult.

Liking Photos Out of Guilt

“Like for a prayer, comment for a hug, keep scrolling if you’re Satan.”

It’s sweet that you care, really. You’re a good person for taking the time to “like” or share the photos. But these posts completely clog up your friends’ newsfeeds, and the odds are that people are blocking you left and right.

Misusing Quotes By Famous Dead People

Everyone has seen the girl(s) on their Facebook friends list post the classic Marilyn Monroe quote: “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.” Basically, this is go-to quote for any woman who masks being bitchy as “honesty,” and uses the well-intended words of good ol’ Norma Jean to justify her behavior. Yes, you shouldn’t date somebody who ditches you when you’re going through a rough time (sickness, death in the family, the occasional grumps)… but it doesn’t mean that you get to constantly be on your worst behavior because somebody should love you regardless of your perpetually terrible attitude.

“He Put A Ring On It!!! (FINALLY!) <3”

 

We’re happy for you. Really, we are. And we definitely want to see the new bling! In fact, it should be a requirement to post a photo of your engagement ring (if you have one) to satisfy everybody’s curiosity. However, quoting Queen B about it has been quite overdone. Also, it’s no fun to say “finally” and make your new fiancé(e) look like a chump for proposing when they were ready. So please, just change that relationship status, post a cute photo of the ring/couple, and thank people for their support. If you’re happy, we’re happy!

Capitalizing Every Word In Your Sentences To Seem Educated

This isn’t Facebook, but you get the idea.

It’s No Fun To Read A Sentence Where Somebody Capitalizes Every Word. Your Facebook Status Is Not A Title. Please Stop Doing This, Because It Just Makes You Look Silly And Makes People Take You Less Seriously.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend Applications

Being single can suck, we totally feel that- but the whole boyfriend/girlfriend/FWB application thing is really, really corny. It also opens up a whole new avenue of weirdness for creeps to try picking up on you via internet. That’s what Tinder is for.

Over-Edited Photos & Excessive Hashtags

 

Until recently, hashtags didn’t make sense on Facebook (#throwbackthursday!). They still don’t make sense, but at least now they’re sanctioned by the social network itself (#transformationtuesday)! However, there is no need to attach 15 #hashtags onto your #overlyfiltered #selfie that you claim has #nofilter.

Hourly Updates On Your Spawn

Kids are fun, and it’s awesome that you like your baby enough to show the world. However, most things that you think are cute really aren’t all that adorable to anybody else. Little Max just went potty for the first time? That’s amazing… for you. Baby Bella fell asleep on the car ride home from the drugstore? How precious… to her parents. Narrowing it down to one photo of your baby per week (or less!) is a good rule of thumb, and it will help avoid people secretly hating your child’s face. If you’ve got family that really does want to see all the pics of your adorable infant, make a special friends list for them and post away! That’s what the Facebook organization tools are there for.

And the List Goes On…

A million invitations to play Candy Crush, creepy comments on pretty girls’ profile pictures, trying to be a thug, and many more Facebook trends just need to stop. It will make everybody’s experience more enjoyable, and perhaps help distance you from your computer/iPhone screen! Of course, there are exceptions to every rule- some of those pity photos are too sad to pass up a “like” on, and many babies are so freaking cute that we don’t even mind being constantly bombarded with their photos. Hell, if you get proposed to by a guy doing the “Single Ladies” dance, feel free to announce to the world that he liked it and he put a ring on it! However, in general, these trends could use a break.

Any Facebook trends that you’d like to disappear, or speak in defense of? Let us know in the comments below!


Brinton Parker

 
Brinton is a third year student at the University of California, Davis and is majoring in English, with a minor in Textiles & Clothing. Her passion (at the risk of sounding extremely cliché) is fashion, as well as writing, cooking, fitness, and movies. Pursuing a career in magazine journalism is the next check on her to-do list.