Posted 10/9/12 by LTCL in Funny

Freshman’s Guide to College: According to Jimmy Tatro

Lesson 1 Overview:

  • First thing to do at college: Go to Dorms
  • Your parents and RA will hit it off
  • Your RA is not to be trusted
  • One Beer = Party
  • You Need Friends
  • Kid from high school is not a friend
  • Find kid who’s been written up. That is your new friend
  • RA events are not where the cool kids go
  • Use a box to sneak alcohol into dorm room

Lesson 2 Overview

  • 99.9% of long boarders eat sh*t 100% more times than walkers
  • If you have the balls to ride a scooter in college, don’t get hit by a truck
  • It doesn’t matter how cool you were in high school
  • Going to football games= cool
  • NOT going to the football game cuz you were too drunk= coolER
  • Long Distance relationships with college sweetheart – hahaha…
College Relationships are just like a Facebook status. In the moment everyone might like it but as time goes on, it’s so deep in the Facebook timeline, that nobody really gives a F*ck.
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Lesson 3 Overview

  • Don’t try and keep up at parties
  • Guys: 2-3 shots don’t transform you into Ryan Goslin
  • Stop trying to hookup with girl if she’s not interested
  • Girls: Sometimes guys don’t want to make out with you either–imagine that?
  • Studies show that while intoxicated, 65% of girls think they are much hotter than they actually are
  • You’re going to be drinking cheap booze because that’s all you can afford
  • Disguise crappy booze inside a used bottle of nice booze
  • Mike’s Hard Lemonade or Smirnoff Ice = Vagina
  • 89% chance person you’re talking to doesn’t care how well you know the guy who’s throwing the party
  • Don’t bring up the fact that you are a freshman or anything to do with class while celebrating the fact that you are not in class



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