Occupy the Hot Girl

#OccupytheHotGirl

Yes, the title is really damn suggestive, but hear me out because this could be one of the most ingenious things I’ve heard all year…and I didn’t come up with it. Props to my roommate.

For the hermits who don’t keep up with the world, #OccupyWallStreet is a protest against rich people and wall street with the main basis saying that the richest 1% is screwing over the 99%. All that you need to remember here is those numbers – especially 99%.

So recently I was stressing about a very attractive girl and whether or not she wants to be more than friends, my roommate stepped in and said

“If you get turned down by her, or any hot girl, you would just be one of the 99% of guys that can’t get with that girl. It’s really nothing to be ashamed of.”

Well he’s 100% right. So here’s my call to the guys, all the guys, the good looking guys, the ugly guys, the virgins, fuckin all of you. AT LEAST TRY. Because if you get turned down by a hot girl, you know who else is gonna get turned down by that hot girl? Every other guy at the bar except for the one douchebag she’s been obsessing over since freshman year. He’s the 1%. Why is he the 1%? Who fucking knows, girls are crazy.

Go for it!

Is it nice to be the 1%? Absolutely, but how often does that happen for ANYONE? Not often. There’s no shame in being one of the 30 guys that strikes out with a girl who would be modeling if she wasn’t 5-foot-5.

So next time you’re at the bar, ask Miss Dime Piece if you can buy her a drink, and if she says no, ask another hot girl, because I guarantee you most guys won’t even try to talk to these girls.

When you end the night telling your friends “Yeah I hit on 5 of the hottest girls at the bar and they all turned me down,” make sure you know that when they make fun of you that you weren’t the guy that settled for the girlfriend who’s a 7.