Understanding Women: What They Mean vs. What They Actually Say
lright, boys. You’re in a fight with your girl, and you don’t know what you did wrong. Oftentimes, women will reread conversations over and over again. But guys, usually just their boys for advice. The only problem with that is sometimes none of you will know what she means when she says, “It’s nothing” or “It’s not you, it’s me.”
As a woman, I can openly admit that we can be confusing as hell. To be honest, we don’t even know what we want or mean most of the time. But if you’re having a hard time understanding women, this is the article for you.
DISCLAIMER: Not ALL women are like this! And, unfortunately, there are many more meanings than the ones I’ve explained below. But this is a start!
Here are eight common phrases women think men usually misunderstand, and what they mean from a girl’s perspective:
1. I’m fine, or It’s nothing.
These phrases are one deadly duo. In women terms, nothing means something. Don’t ask me why, but this is our way of saying either, ”No shit, Sherlock. Obviously something is wrong,” or “Let it go for now, you’ll most likely find out later.” My advice is to just let her know that you are willing to talk to her about it when she’s ready, and leave her alone. Chances are she’ll come back in about 10 minutes anyway.
2. Go ahead, or Do what you want.
To put it simply: DON’T DO IT. Unfortunately, 99 percent of the time, women most likely mean the exact opposite of the words coming out of their mouths when they say something like this. As shady as they are, this is a test. She wants to see what you’ll do… so don’t fail.
3. Whatever.
Yeah. This is her way of telling you to shut up, and quit while you’re ahead. I’d just let this one go, because it will get worse with each word either of you say.
4. I love you.
She means it. These are three strong words for anyone, and you probably mean it regardless of whether you’re a male or a female. However, women are generally more communicative than men and may say the “L word” sooner than she would have liked. This may be a in-the-moment lapse in judgment, or she may be trying to keep you from leaving. Just use your instinct!
5. Do I look okay?
She’s looking for a compliment. To be honest, you should be telling her she’s beautiful before she even asks, but if it comes to this just say what you think. Don’t be too harsh, but if you don’t like what she’s wearing then tell her. She will probably be pissed at you for about five minutes, but trust me: if she’s confident enough, she’ll be thanking you by the end of the night.
6. We need to talk.
Just like women, men tend to freak out when they get a text saying these four small, yet powerful words. Unfortunately, women tend to only say this when they’re going to break it off. So if you want to know what she’s thinking, ask her straight up. If she drops the old, “I’d rather do it in person.” Prepare to be dumped or have a serious make-it-or-break-it conversation. Of course there is the possibility of her actually needing to tell you something important, but it all depends on the context of your relationship so use your better judgment.
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
AKA: It’s probably 90 percent you and 10 percent me. Women say this to try avoiding hurting the guy’s feelings, and it fails half of the time because men automatically assume something is wrong with them. That’s not always the case! Sometimes this is a girl’s way of saying she likes someone else, she’s not ready for a relationship, or she just isn’t feeling a connection.
8. Give me five minutes.
Prepare to wait another half-hour. Girls never need just five minutes, let’s be honest. She probably means it when she says it, but she will get distracted or realize she has forgotten something in about two minutes. My suggestion: sit down, relax, and watch the football game because you’ll probably get through another quarter by the time she’s finished.
In the end, it’s a fact; men and women are different, but they are also very similar. If the two of you aren’t communicating, chances are you both will be confused about the same things.
Hopefully these eight commonly misunderstood phrases helped you figure out what women really mean when they say certain things.
Cara Chiaramonte
Guys, you only have to tolerate the games until you have been married for about two years. By that time you should be through the “break in” period. Eventually she will stop going bizerk when you come home five minutes later than you said. Eventually she will stop asking you stupid questions because you will have pointed out how stupid frequently enough by then that she will realize on her on. Eventually she’ll learn to cry into a pillow when you are not around because she will not want to be scolded for crying over nonsense.
I used to take my boat out and my wife would ask me, “When are you coming home?” I give her a time but would frequently fail to return at that exact moment, which would cause her to become clinically insane. Finally, one day, after she asked me when I would be returning, I looked at her and said, half yelling, “I’ll be home when I get home, no sooner, no later!” She did not like that answer, but I drove off anyway. When I got home, no argument. I had arrived when I arrived, Period.
The key to a successful break in is that you have to be faithful. If you’ve never given her any reason to not trust you, she will eventually start trusting. Women live a hormonally unbalanced existence that perpetually teeters on the verge of insanity. Most know it. The key is to not ball up and become the girl, but on the other hand you don’t have to be violent. Be faithful, be assertive, and be tolerant. After a couple of years the two of you will get along like peas and carrots!
The ultimate secret is to just know that there will never be a divorce. With this in mind, you tend to work towards working things out, you tend to learn to compromise, you tend to settle into a nice married life. Just sew your oats before you find the one that you are going to marry and accept that they are all virtually the same without their clothes on.
Oh, I wanted to add…this was my mindset before I was married…
1. I’m fine, or It’s nothing.
We know what you really mean, but not every guy likes playing games and will simply proceed as if it really is fine or it really is nothing. Next time take the opportunity to use your words like a big little girl!
2. Go ahead, or Do what you want.
Believe I will, thanks for giving your approval as if I needed it. You are welcome to come along…too bad your emotions are going to prevent you from enjoying something so awesome! Testosterone rocks!
3. Whatever.
Oh, you got that right! Whatever, whenever, however, whoever, could not care whatsoever!
4. I love you.
Whoa! Let’s keep doing it for a few months and if I don’t kick you out by then say it to me at that point and if I say it back you will know that the feeling is mutual.
5. Do I look okay?
You do. In fact, you look great! Wow! Your hair looks fabulous! And that dress, and those shoes, everything is so well matched and accessorized! So, no need to spend another two hours trying to look better, just get in the damn car and let’s go because we are already two days late because I made the mistake of telling you that your shoes did not match your purse!
6. We need to talk.
Yeah, I was just about to say the same thing to you. I know you’ve been sleeping with five other guys on the side. Oh, and don’t bother with moving out, all of your stuff is on your mom’s front porch, I put it there this morning. A collection agency will be contact you soon regarding the money you owe me for your share of the rent, food, cable, etc.
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
LOL! No Shit!!!!!!!!! You are crazy, and everyone knows it!!!!!
8. Give me five minutes.
Okay, and after five minutes passes is it okay to just go on without you? I mean we are already late since you do not seem to understand what it means to be on time for anything! And please don’t ask me how you look, how this looks, how that looks, just hurry up!!!