Relationships & Sex


Truth: He’s Just Not That Into You

Decoding Man Talk

Many women have seen the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, where we get a firsthand glance into the mind of men. One of the main points stressed is how if a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen. This point isn’t just fabricated for entertainment purposes on the silver screen, it’s an actual piece of truth that many women on the dating scene fail to remember.

I’ve heard plenty of excuses men have fed to women young and old alike that practically scream he’s letting you down easy. Yes, it would be much easier if he would simply say, “Look, I’m sorry but I’m not interested,” but he’s trying to be nice. So cut him and his letdown some slack and in the meantime, learn to read between the lines before you go waiting around for him.


He says: “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”

He means: You’re nice and all but not my type. I have my scopes set on someone else I’d rather be in a relationship with. Basically, I’m interested in having a relationship but not with YOU. Check my Facebook relationship status in two weeks and you’ll find I’m with some other girl. Or: I view you as too good of a friend and don’t want to ruin our relationship with each other by starting something more serious. Or: You’re not relationship material for me because all I can picture is sleeping with you. I don’t want to be tied down to one girl. I want to be free, have fun and sleep around.


He says: “I’m too busy right now with my job, family, school, trying to get my business off the ground, sports, working out, etc. to be in a relationship.”

He means: I might be busy, yes, but if I really liked you enough, I’m sure I could afford to take a little time out of my day every now and again to spend with you. But since I don’t and since I’m not even going to mention dating as an option, it’s safe to say I’m grasping at every straw I can possibly get to let you down easy. Don’t bother waiting around, because I’m not going to be “freeing” myself up anytime soon… or ever.


He says: “It’s not you, it’s me.”

He means: I am feeding you the biggest lie known to man. What I’m really trying to say is that it is you, I’m just trying not to hurt your feelings. But in all truth, you complain all the time, your friends are way hotter, you’re terrible in the sack, you’re fat and smell like you haven’t bathed in five days.


He says: “I don’t know what I want.”

He means: I know exactly what I want and it’s not you. Or: I honestly don’t know what I want and have an extremely difficult time expressing and explaining my emotions to others. Or: I’m torn between you and another girl I possibly want more.


He says: “I just need some time.”

He means: I have doubts about if I want to be with you. Or: We were in a relationship with each other before, I broke up with you and now I’m questioning it because there might still be some feelings I have left over for you.


He says: “There are too many similarities between us.”

He means: I’m trying in the nicest of ways to let you down easy but am terrible at excuses so I decided to say this, hoping you’d buy the excuse that we have too much in common, that it wouldn’t work out and hopefully drop the subject. When it gets down to it, I’m just not that into you.

About the Author

Abby Downs


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