Diaries: Dating An Older Guy
To start, I want to address the negative attention a girl will receive when she is dating an older guy. If a girl is dating someone who is let’s say eight years her elder, girls can expect snickering and judgements from friends, family, and people who don’t even really know you. Whereas the guy will get never ending praise from his friends and guys all over the planet. It is quite frustrating and very unfair. But then again, who said life was going to be fair, right?
I would like to think that girls get into relationships with older guys for somewhat the same reasons: they want someone who is mature, isn’t going to mess with their emotions, and is going to treat them better than a crazy partying college guy would. Right from the beginning you have higher expectations for this person which isn’t a bad thing necessarily. Also, this person has much higher expectations for you as well. You aren’t about to enter into a casual college hook-up, you’re signing your soul on the dotted line. But in all seriousness, you can think of it as dating to the second power. In the college world, there are so many misinterpretations and things left unsaid because that’s just how it goes. You don’t want to talk about every single issue in detail and are more at ease with letting some things go. In contrast to this, communication is something that is huge when dating someone who is older than you. Think about it, not only are you different genders but now you throw a substantial age gap into the mix and you are left with having no idea how each other’s minds work. Things that were so clear and obvious to me were taken in the completely wrong way and caused big problems for me in my relationship. It’s hard to know where you are coming from if you don’t flat out spell everything out in these situations.
The age advantage. Yes of course, you are much younger have the physically better looking upper hand in the relationship, but it’s crazy what having a few more years of experience will do to a person. Suddenly, in certain instances you are stupid and immature because you are only in college and the way you view life is wrong because they can not be wrong. Why? Because they’re older of course so they always have to be right. Once you play the age game once it’s almost impossible to stop playing and holding it over someone’s head. Also, I would like to add that I am not trying to stereotype all older guys to acting this way, I’m just addressing the ones who are aware of their “power” and take advantage of it. In fact, in latest news in my life, I could write an article explaining the complete opposite of everything I just said. Back to the main point of power hungry older douche bag guys. To end, I will simply share a quote that reminds me of a valuable point to remember.
It doesn’t matter how old you are. You know that when the simplest, most insignificant thing you think is being dissected and picked on to no end all on the basis of you “being young and immature”, it’s time to get out. You know exactly who you are and what you are worth, never let any guy tell you otherwise. I didn’t realize that the way I was being treated was abusive. It may not have been physically abusive but emotionally. Constantly putting someone down and calling them insane to the point where they start to question their own sanity is not okay. I didn’t see it at the time but I hope others can realize it sooner than I did because you start to lose yourself more and more as everyday passes when you’re being treated poorly.