Relationships & Sex


How to Avoid Sketchy and Pointless Relationships

Contributed post by:

How to Avoid Bad Relationships

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

— Maya Angelou



o I have a couple of short stories to share with you. And hopefully I’ll be able to tie them together in a coherent way.  Hopefully.

Story #1: Learning the Basics

A long, long time ago (in a world that seems far, far away but is really just a subway ride from my apt) I used to supervise several departments/teams. And that means doing quite a bit of hiring and sadly, some firing. At one point, me and one of my team leaders were discussing a new hire.  She’d started less than 2 weeks earlier and both he and I were disappointed with her performance.  Especially since we’d done a lot of interviewing for the position and she really seemed a good match for the job and for the team.

No one tries any harder than they do during their first week at a new job. People can learn new skills, but they don’t suddenly become more motivated or start working harder.

I’ll never forget what he said (because it was just so damn smart).


Skip to Story #2: Connecting the Dots

I was having brunch with friends yesterday. And someone asked if I’d spoken to that guy I went out with a couple of times. And what, if anything, was happening with that. And so I told her that yes, we spoke (since I last wrote about it). And he knew that I was going to be out of town for most of the week, last week. And that, while there is a part of me that likes him, the smarter me is not willing to make an effort with him. Because his first few efforts have been so inconsistent. And I’m feeling like he might have shown me who he is. And that person is not someone I should date.  Or maybe I am misreading the situation because he reminds me of other people. And so I am willing to be open and rethink.  To a point.  Maybe.

Here is what I know for sure, everyone loses when you live in . There is no excuse for not firing the lazy employee who’s showing up late and slacking off on her second week of work in the hopes that somehow things will get better.  The sooner you fire her and move on, the better.  And there is no excuse for dating someone who has already shown you that they don’t care about you/your feelings and are completely self-involved in the hopes that that will someday change.

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.  It’s damn smart advice. I just have to learn to live it. Everyday.


Thanks for checking out this article. We love to hear the feedback.

Currently looking for interns and writers: If you are experienced and think you would be good at writing about college life, you may be a good fit for the LTCL team! Send us an email with a description of yourself to [email protected]!

Follow Me on Pinterest

About the Author

Your Guide to a Better College Experience.

More from Relationships & Sex


10 Signs He Likes You

Tweet Tweet Does he like me as more than a friend? Wondering if your crush likes you? It’s a simple task to decode if a guy is looking to hook up, but what if he wants to actually date. How do you know if he REALLY likes ...


What To Wear on a First Date This Spring and Summer: Top 4 Pink Fashion Trends

Tweet Tweet   Right now, what’s trending on the runway are all things bright and neon. If the idea of color blocking sends you immediately back into your closet to hide behind that same black shirt and jeans, you can...
by Midorilei



The Key to Lasting Love and Passion

Tweet Tweet Are You Trying to Find the Happily Ever After? What’s the secret to making your love a lasting one?    What’s the secret to keeping sexual passion alive?    There’s no one best answer, and every couple i...


Diary of a Disillusioned Dater: Don’t be Disappointed

Tweet Tweet This is a true story… t finally happened – or did it? I’m not really sure. I’m still trying to figure out what exactly I did with Marty Applebaum’s niece. About a half hour before I was going to leave...