A Girl’s Voice: How to Stand Out to Women

There’s plenty of advice out there for dating, but plenty of it is written from the perspective of the “attractor.” Sometimes, it’s nice to get affirmation on what’s attractive from the source: the group who you’re trying to attract. Here’s a girl’s take on what guys are doing right, wrong, and some tips to take your dating life to the next level.

Remember the Details

One of the most surprising and flattering ways to peak a girl’s interest is to actually care about the things that she says. If she’s sitting next to you in class and you wind up in a conversation, take note of little things that she says. It’s a nice example of your good-listening skills if, next time you bump into one another, you’re able to ask about her economics major (or another aspect of her life that she likely expected you not to recall).

Comment on the “Real” Things

As a girl, it can get a bit discouraging to be constantly told how pretty you look. Sure, it can be nice to hear that you’ve got an amazing complexion… but physical compliments make up the majority of those that a girl hears from guys, especially in college. It sometimes seems as if guys can’t see beyond one’s face (or breasts) to her non-physical features. Next time you’re seeing somebody, make an effort to appreciate her personality, talents, knowledge, and aspirations. In a world where we’re bombarded with catcalls while jogging and have to listen to objectifying music like “Blurred Lines,” it can be really refreshing for girls to hear about their hilarious sense of humor or their impressive knowledge about craft beers.

Invest in Yourself

“What a strange power there is in clothing,” author Isaac Bashevis Singer once remarked. Though it seems strange that something like your outfit could make or break a chance with a potential date, paying a bit of attention to your wardrobe can go a long way. No, this doesn’t mean that you need to leave the house looking like a member of One Direction… it simply means taking the time to mindfully put together ensembles of classic, well-fitted clothing and make sure you smell nicely. Little changes (basketball shorts to slim, dark-wash jeans, Axe spray to a subtle cologne, and styled facial hair instead of a messy scruff) can make a huge difference in your physical appeal to women.

Treat Her Like an Individual

It seems as if it should go without saying, but unfortunately many guys can’t seem to grasp this concept. Treat women as individuals. Things that meant a lot to your ex may not mean a lot to your new love interest. Is the girl you’re seeing extremely interested in gender politics and a vocal feminist? Get used to “going dutch.” Perhaps she’s an animal lover… take walks through the park on weekends to let her play with dogs. Don’t just assume that blanket “tricks” will work for every girl. We don’t all enjoy roses, romantic comedies, and shopping.