Posted 7/26/12 by Rebecca Romero in Relationships & Sex

6 Signs He’s Not Over His Ex-Girlfriend- Is It Worth It?


Is wearing your heart on your sleeve a good or bad thing? Some people see giving an honest portrayal of oneself is both inviting and assuring. People admire your fearlessness to express your own true feelings no matter if they are returned or not. But what is it that keeps everyone from using this direct form of communication from the heart? Theoretically, if everyone wore their heart on their sleeve it’d be a lot easier for you to pick the one you liked right?

Well it’s not so easy. Oppositely of emotionally open people, are those who I imagine in my head as little purple oysters, and in my observations are most often guys. These little oysters have either A) Never been in a relationship before. B) Have been heartbroken before. Or C) Are emotionless robots. Seeing that at this age, every guy should have ventured out to the “girls side of the room”, I’m going to go with B: He’s been heartbroken before and has a wall up. But inside these little oysters is a glistening pearl, waiting to be discovered.

Girls, if you have been patient and truly believe you have been doing everything textbook, there’s a chance that it’s not you- it’s him. He’s not over it and this is a war that halfway lost if you don’t recognize the root of the issue. There’s not much you can do if the dude is having these internal issue within himself. It may not matter how great of a girl you are to him, the point is you’re not that girl that broke his heart into a million pieces, and ironically that is killing him. Here are six signs that will help you determine if he’s not over his ex-girlfriend:


1.) He Talks About Her

Mentioning an ex-girlfriend once of twice is fine. It’s only natural that you share past relationships with each other in order to establish a stronger bond. But if he brings her up constantly you best believe he’s not over it. If he says it out loud to you just imagine all the times that she enters his mind while you’re not around. Yikes!

2.) He Goes Places His Ex Would Go

Odds are if the relationship was a substantial one, your guy knows where his ex would be quite often. He may take you or go on his own to those places where his past relationship took him, secretly hoping he’ll run into her. He may even express to you how he doesn’t want to run into her there, yet he still goes anyway. Real convincing!

3.) He’s Out Of It

If one day you’re walking on sunshine and life just about can’t get any better between you two then the next a dark cloud has settled over your relationship, there’s a strong chance he has a lot on his mind. Dealing with a broken heart while being in a new relationship can be a lot to handle. He may like you very much, but there’s still a void that hasn’t been filled.

4.) He Just Won’t Open Up

You’re feeling like you’ve pretty much laid everything out on the line for this guy and he hasn’t really given much of himself. Classic not being over his ex syndrome. His previous relationship most likely crushed him. He probably wasn’t comfortable with being so open then and look where that got him! It can be really frustrating after you spill your heart out for this guy.

5.) He Reaches Out To Her

Even though his family and friends have advised him not to talk to his ex, he still finds a way to contact her via email, text or call. Even though the relationship is clearly over, he doesn’t want it to be and he’s trying to make some moves. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with communication going on while there’s still strong feelings burning in the mix.

6.) He Wants To Stay “Friends”

There’s nothing more annoying than your boyfriend wanting to be friends with his ex. He may claim that they have been through a lot together and he just wants to keep her in his life. I don’t know about you but that relationship failed for a reason and it’s not changing anytime soon! It’s up to you to decide how comfortable you are with having your boyfriend be friends with a girl he’s seen naked.


It’s a tough world out there with some good guys left. If you found a keeper but it so happened to be at a not so convenient time, is it really worth overlooking a great guy that could make you really happy at some point? With some time and patience you may be able to win over your guy as he gets over his past relationship. It’s just a question of whether you want to put the time in for that shiny pearl.


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Rebecca Romero

Hi, my name's Rebecca Romero. I am a sophomore at San Diego State University majoring in Hospitality & Tourism Management emphasis in events and operations. I am a past Freshman 15 Blogger for Seventeen Magazine and am very excited to continue to blog about my experiences with LTCL! I love being outside, painting, hiking, being at the beach, hanging out with friends, as well as doing anything crafty! I'm also obsessed with Tumblr.Check out my blog at Rebeccaromero.tumblr.com