Reacting to a Breakup
Ladies I want you to imagine that it’s about 7 pm at night, you’re girlfriend calls you hysterically crying and yelling profanities like, “I f****** hate him” etc. We all know what’s about to happen. It doesn’t matter what day it is, or if you have something important to do in the morning you’re going to call the girls, grab you’re hysterical friend get dress in your sexist clothes and you’re going to hit the bar because she needs to “get wasted.”
It happens, every single time; but lets think about this for a moment. Ladies, I’m not for sure who filled our heads with the worst advice ever but there are rules and guidelines about breaking up. Most people will tell you to delete his number, throw away the gifts he gave you, and burn his t-shirts. I’m going to give you a different set of guidelines, because in college relationships are tricky and things can be easily resolved if done properly.
- “The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody.” This is crap please don’t take this advice. This is the worst thing that you could do right after having a breakup/argument/taking a break. Your feelings are hurt and you feel bad it is normal and healthy to feel that way. It is not ok for you to hop into bed with some guy/girl from the bar or your back up plan because you are feeling down; plus it will be hard to explain to your ex that not even 24 hours of breaking up you already hooked up with someone else, a lot of people will find that disrespectful and that space that they wanted will turn into a break up and there won’t be a second chance.
- Lets not be over dramatic about this, sometimes people go off their emotions and say things that they don’t truly mean. When fighting/breaking up it could be off of anger and they will soon regret the things they said; so instead of destroying everything they gave you why not calm down and talk about things later; you may do something irrational that could ruin you’re future with that person
- put the alcohol down, communication is key in relationships whether it’s the beginning or ending of one. Do not go on a binge-drinking episode then get liquid cougar and want to discuss the situation that will only push them even further away. In your incoherent state you’ll not fully be able to communicate properly and in turn make the outcome worse than what it already was.
- We don’t live in a sitcom world, you don’t always have to rush out and buy a gallon of ice cream and watch romantic comedies. Be proactive do stress relieving activities. Go for a run, punch a pillow, write expressively. There are multiple ways of getting your emotions out instead of gorging yourself in ice cream and sorrows. Don’t be that stereotypical person crying over a relationship; it’s not an attractive look. It’s fine to be blue for a few days but your ex may see that you’re over reacting and it’s not healthy and they won’t want to be around you and you negativity. If they aren’t upset for weeks you shouldn’t be either.
Breaking up is never easy and it out right sucks. It’s always an unfortunate time in a persons life to be dumped. There are right and wrong ways when dealing with a “break up” and like I said before, break ups aren’t always final. Stay true to yourself and be respectable and you never know, things may work out again.