Living the College Life
The Premier College Magazine



Relationships & Sex

12/21/11

How to: From “Player” to “Gentleman”

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Drop the Game and Pickup More Girls?

Player. Many college men have discovered that this simple six letter word is admired among fellow men and abandoned by women who’ve learned to know better. Lets be honest, women worth dating run from your long list of slam pieces.

Here are a few steps that will help you win-win. Keep your reputation and casually see a couple of women simultaneously.

I assume you’ve had enough female contact in your lifetime to know who The Notebook’s Ryan Gosling is. His latest movie Crazy, Stupid, Love sums it all up.

Ryan plays a womanizer named Jacob Palmer who frequents a nice bar in the area and can pretty much get any woman he wants. While this is a MOVIE, and he is…RYAN GOSLING, this isn’t necessarily impossible. The problem is that it takes the right type of guy. A lot of guys who do well with girls can very easily come off as sleazy or cheap or as the dreaded “player” (which may sound cool, but it’s not a good distinction.)

While Gosling’s character may be a player, he never really comes off as such in the movie. He comes off as a good looking guy who knows how to talk to women.

Let me make it clear, this article will not teach you how to talk to girls but it will explain how you can create a distinction between player and “respected guy who does well with women.”

STEP 1: BE HONEST

I capitalized this because this is key. I maintain fairly good relationships with my ex-slams because I was honest with them. A player can be defined as a guy who will do anything to bed a woman. That’s the wrong way to go about it. Lying is poisonous and eventually you’ll get caught and women will make up rumors that you have herpes (not from experience).

If you are looking for a no-strings attached relationship, SAY IT. Usually, if the girl likes you enough, she’ll be fine with it. Especially any girl who you brought home from the bar or met at a frat party that hooked up with you the first time you met…she didn’t hook up with you because she’s a slut (…she might have hooked up with you because she’s a slut…), she probably did it because she sees something in you. It can be anything at all, she thinks you’re cute, funny, whatever. If a girl (this doesn’t count for blackout drunk) hooks up with you the first time you meet and this is key: isn’t super awkward about it…you’re good to go on a casual relationship.

Tell her that you will not date her, or fall for her, but don’t be a dick (that’s where I went wrong in my first experiences in this type of relationship). Let’s be honest, you’re not Ryan Gosling, you’re a guy, and you appreciate her letting you coitus her, so tell her that. You don’t need to treat her like a girlfriend, but be nice…as I always say (I don’t ever say this.) a little cuddling goes a long way.

STEP 2: When discussing other girls, don’t be obvious

The worst girl is the one who talks about her ex boyfriends. I don’t want to fucking hear how John took you apple picking (this is also how you know John is white) and you had a magical weekend until he cheated on you with your friend Jenny and now you think he’s a douchebag with good taste in apples. Fuck that.

As a guy, every once in a while you’ll run into your ex-slams or the conversation will steer itself to your past experiences. Be honest, but don’t be douchey about it.

Ways to correctly allude to a previous relationship:

“We used to have a thing, it’s no big deal, she’s a cool girl.”

^This is honest, doesn’t take too long to talk about, and shows maturity that even though things ended you still hold her in high regard.

Girl: Did you two ever…

Guy: Yeah…it was just like a short fling, I met her at a party one night, she’s very sweet.

^You see where I’m going with this. Instead of deny, deny, deny…it’s DOWNPLAY, DOWNPLAY, DOWNPLAY…WITH maturity.

Keeping 2 Girls at Once:

The obvious thing here is don’t let them know about it, but as long as you keep both relationships casual, neither has any right to be offended. Treat each with respect, but obviously schedule different nights.

THE FINAL CHALLENGE:

So let’s assume you actually like a girl (aww) and want to take her out on a date (double aww). Most likely, if you are in college, she knows people you know, and if you happen to do fairly well with girls, you may have a reputation that precedes you (ex, one girl this semester guessed that I bang 10 girls/semester…that’s 20 per year. I’m gonna tell you right now, that’s not even close. I WISH I was that cool, alas I am not).

If asked about your previous um…misdeeds, it’s really kind of tough to answer. Depending on your personality, you could get away with a lot. Feigning stupidity also works sometimes (unless the girl is smart…and if she isn’t, why are you going out with her?), say something like “I didn’t know I had that kind of reputation” or my favorite line that I actually use “I’m a lot less ridiculous than you may think I am.” (This is true, I am less ridiculous than though…but also more ridiculous. Your Move).

I believe people can tell when you are really into them, and if you have a reputation as a player, but you really like a girl, I’m sure there’s plenty you can do (flowers/cars/diamonds/clothes/dinners/movies/flowers/chocolates/flowers/The Notebook on Blu Ray/flowers/Did I say flowers?) to show that you’re being genuine.

Until next time,

AA



About the Author

Armani Alejandro





 
 

 
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