There are times in a relationship – some early on, some years later – that trigger a red flag to go up. This red flag is there for good reason. It’s there to tell you it’s not going to work, it’s time to move on or to put it simply – run.
Red Flag #1: Jealousy
It’s an ugly thing to feel but we all do it. It’s not wrong in all scenarios so you have to ask yourself if you’re being sensible. Ladies, if you’ve been smooching on some other guy, then he has every right to want to deck the guy. And guys, vice versa. But if you’re demanding to know everyone he’s texting each time his phone chimes or sneaking his phone when he’s not around to see for yourself, that’s wrong. You’re paranoid, it shows, and if he has any sense, he’ll run. Jealousy is something that can’t fix itself. Once it rears its ugly head, it only becomes worse. Even simply joking around with one another saying, “Oh, was that your other boyfriend/girlfriend” may seem harmless but may actually be a sign of true underlying jealous insecurity. Studies have shown that individuals who continually question their significant others possible cheating are more apt to be cheating themselves and/or eventually lead the other astray.
Red Flag #2: Clingy
They call and text you every hour on the hour, smother you with yet more texts if you don’t respond within 3 minutes and you’ve only gone out on two dates. Ah, yes, the clinger. It’s like a dog attached to your leg; you just have to kick it off. It’s obvious, they like you… a lot. Maybe a little too much to the point of it being unhealthy but they like you nonetheless. Give them a chance by sitting he/she down and tell them you need your space. You don’t need to necessarily cut them off completely; give them another go at it. Hopefully they get the message and back down a bit. If not, it’s your call of what to do next.
Red Flag #3: The Ex
“Oh, I remember this one time me and Vivica went to… She used to love it when… And she would say…” Hmm… refresh my memory and remind me again why we’re going out? You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that if the topic of his beloved ex keeps finding a way to weasel its way into the conversation, he’s not over her. A once in awhile occurrence is understandable, such as if the breakup was recent, the topic of past relationships gets brought up or something made him remember her accompanied with a scowl or negative tone in his voice. If that’s not the case, the story isn’t over yet; feelings are still there and you don’t deserve only the fraction of his attention and devotion that’s left.
Red Flag #4: Control
When it comes to ruling over others, there are levels. There are girls who will lightly inform their man that whatever they’re doing, they don’t like. There are ones who will flat out tell you they’d prefer if you’d do what they say. And then there’s the worst kind, the guilt-tripper who make you feel bad for every decision you make that they don’t support. Say you want to hang out with the guys Friday night. She calls up and says she wants to go out for dinner and a movie with you. You tell her you already have plans but that you and her can hang tomorrow night. The queen flips and says, “Fine, go have fun with your friends. I guess I’ll just stay here alone tonight” hoping he’ll sigh, throw up his hands and break his plans to be with her instead. Girls, you do it, don’t deny it. Your guy knows it too and is either a) too blinded by love to care b) is whipped or c) is about to peace out on you. This is known as a controlling behavior and will only tend to worsen over time, especially if it’s accepted. Before you know it, she’ll be telling you you can’t have any female friends or poker nights. Remember the saying: Bros before… you know.
Red Flag #5: Using
You’ve been together for over a year now. Your birthday comes up and you expect the works; a card, gift, flowers, dinner, etc. And you get… nothing. Guys, note to self: You have to a least give the girl a card. I don’t care how long you’ve been together or if she said, “Oh no, you don’t have to get me anything.” Don’t listen. Seriously, save yourself the chewing out and fork up the 4 bucks for a sappy Hallmark card. You’ll make her day and save yourself from a sobbing, 2-hour long discussion about how much you don’t care anymore. Ladies: If your man doesn’t get you something and responds with something like, “Well, we’ve been together for awhile now and I just figured I already had you, so why try anymore;” you’re being used.